Our society has come to the point where far too many people are not taking responsibility for their lives. How many people do you know who are quick to blame other people or institutions when something in their lives goes wrong? I personally know quite a few people who spend a good portion of their time blaming others and despite the role they have played in their situation they reject any responsibility.
Blaming other people for our mistakes and failures is something that we all have done at some point in our lives. Nonetheless, people who frequently succumb to this natural reaction will go to great lengths to cover up their feelings of powerlessness and helplessness, as well as their own inadequacies and fear of failure. They don’t want to appear a failure or a screw-up so they will do everything they can to protect their bruised egos. To them, finding someone to blame often becomes more essential than finding meaningful solutions to their problems.
This tendency to blame others is only reinforced by a vast number of targets of blame that are available with one of the most popular ones being the society and the system. Then there are partners, spouses, parents, siblings, neighbours, strangers and people of different race or religion.
There’s no denying that other people can contribute to the negative situations and problems that we often face. For instance, we all get influenced by our childhood experiences and parenting style of our own parents. Relationships that we have with other people also have a huge impact on our lives and what happens to us. Nevertheless, we can’t hold our childhood, our parents and people we have relationships with entirely responsible. In the same way, we can’t fully blame the system for where we are in our life as the problem might not necessarily be in the system.
People who consistently blame others without hesitation deny any responsibility in creating their problems as they find it difficult to be objective about themselves. Yet, if everything is someone else’s fault, then what part do they play in their own lives? Do they really feel so powerless?
And if they do, what should they do to take back control of their own lives? First and foremost, they need to stop blaming other people. I’m not saying that they should never blame other people as sometimes other people might be at fault.
Nevertheless, instead of resorting to blaming others because it’s a convenient way of letting themselves of the hook, they need to take a step back from what is happening to them and take the time to see themselves and things that happen to them objectively. They should discuss their circumstances with other people who will be able to help them see things from a different perspective and help them get to the root cause of their problems.
Furthermore, admitting to themselves when they are at fault and accepting responsibility will help them stop repeating the same dysfunctional patterns. Equally, it will stop them from making the same mistakes which not only lead to failures, but also make them feel helpless, angry and frustrated.
So how do you react when things go wrong in your life?